Mildly Hurtful Sarcasm

Meaningless ranting, just like everybody else.

Friday, October 31, 2008

The term project

For almost twenty years, Five Plus Right Music located six blocks east of UC campus, had been one of the most frequented joint in the area. It had outlasted the Tower Records down the street, survived the era of Napster and the proliferation of internet MP3 downloads, evidently not with its dismal selection of pop albums. Its secret was one known to many college students, and Anthony was a college student himself.

Anthony found this place through detail research. But the cashier girl, Caroline, who worked there Tuesday to Friday 1-4pm, was a bonus coincidence. And on this last day of October, he would make his move.

"This is a great album." Caroline had always been friendly to her customers. Purchasing a Coldplay CD was enough to get a conversation going.

Her dark brown hair flew over her shoulders like a silk cloth. Her eyes shined like the stars in an autumn night sky. She's the definition of beauty, anybody on this planet would fall for that face. Anthony had his eyes on Caroline since the first time he saw her, and her unexpected friendliness simply reassured him his chance. Anthony was left speechless.

Caroline tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear as she shied away from the awkward stare at each other. Something told her he was the one. He had that charming innocence in his eyes, like he was born to this world just yesterday. She never expected a nose so big though.

As these four eyes tangled curiously, the little bronze bell tethered to the door knob rang and in walked a skin head wearing a pair long black boots.

How long are those shoe laces, and how long does it take to loosen them before he can have his feet back. Anthony couldn't help but wondered.

The punk jumped over the counter, pulled a bayonet and stuck it on Caroline's neck. She was asked to gifito me now.

Anthony couldn't make out most of what he said, but figured he's here to get his fix but he ain't got no money. He been here before pleaded for a freebie but bitch gave him the 'tude so this time he'll teach bitch a lesson and what ju staring at bitch fuck off.

The right thing to do is to alert authorities. Anthony saw a pay phone at the corner but he couldn't. He couldn't let people take Caroline away. Anthony knew full well this place was all about illegal narcotics, that's how he found this place. He was looking for Flunitrazepam, which he had intended to use on Caroline.

What if this rude person hurts Caroline. What if she dies. That will ruin the plan. The plan has to change. An orange tentacle bursted out of Anthony's chest and darted towards the punk, gripped his wrist, zapped him off his feet and swung him with detrimental force over to the back of the store where his face smashed into a blood splatter on the wall.

As Caroline watched in horror the punk's lifeless body laid motionless in a pool of blood, more tentacles blasted out of Anthony's body. His face, limbs and other human features fell off one by one until what's left was an orange creature with disproportionally large nostrils. This monster had one big nose.

Seeing how Caroline froze with her mouth wide open, Anthony shot another tentacle down her throat into her abdomen. The poor girl spent her last breath watching a beam of light take this creature back to the mother ship.

Anthony Engeekayayewhyyoueye, graduate student of the Orion Five Research Institute, fumbled with his newly harvested ovary in pride as his subspace shuttle tore through the Terran system. Attractive Human species from the planet Earth crossed with Trunk species from the Jovian moon Eurpoa, Anthony had no doubt that hybrid would make an impression on the professor.

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Friday, October 24, 2008

SNL Weekend Update

I really like the Weekend Update segment of Saturday Night Live. Seth Meyers and Amy Poehler are two really talented comedians. And now they are doing a 30-minute Weekend Update show on Thursday too, that is so cool.

On the 700 billion bail out plan, Seth Meyers reported "...remember the house you couldn't afford to pay for? Guess what, you are paying for it." That was hilarious.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Interesting tops

I took these pictures quite a while back, but never blogged about them




Nothing special? My initial thoughts exactly, until I found out these were art works made of clay.

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Friday, October 10, 2008

Over 20 tips calculators for iPhone

What's with weather and tips calculators. Do people really use these things? Are they really that desperate to learn about the weather?

When are people going to realize, Apple, Google, just like Microsoft, they are out there to make a profit and would undercut competitors to do that. The only difference is, Microsoft is good at it.

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Monday, October 06, 2008

TV addict

Today I spent alot of time fixing my laptop's bluetooth driver so I can sync my cell phone with it. So much so, I ran out of time for preparing dinner before The Amazing Race 13 started. I just randomly mustered something together and called it a meal.

And I paid the price. During Desperate Housewives my tum suddenly rumbled like a washing machine. It was the kind of calling that can't wait, you know. And I didn't want to miss a second of Bree and Susan, so I quickly took my mother's dressing mirror, propped it outside the bathroom, turned up the volume of the TV, and voi la, watched while I went.



My brother called me a TV addict on his blog. I was naturally dismayed by that untrue and childish comment. But I love my brother and I won't hold it against him. Nonetheless, I am not too blind to see I have a problem and I am determined to correct it...... I will need to go get a TV and put it in the bathroom!

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Friday, October 03, 2008

My new menu item IV - Pan fried chicken breasts

Chicken breasts are tough and tasteless, all my live I had believed that. Mom can't make a good chicken breast, neither can the Colonel.

But I've finally figured it out. The key is the marinating and moisture.

I heat my well greased pan on high for at least 1 minute, so as to brown my breasts well marinated with salt/pepper, soy sauce, and a bit of vinegar and sugar days ahead.



When the surface is browned and start to crust, add water. Put the lid on, turn it down to medium and let it soak in the moisture while it cooks.



The result is a piece of white meat nicely browned outside, succulent and tender inside.


You better believe it.

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